That one thing
by obsessed thoughts
Summary: Three years after the end of the war, the world is finally stable again. But Zuko realize that he can't have the one thing that will make him happy. OneShot, Zutara. My first fanfic.


**This story is inspired by all the amazing Zutara fanfic's that is out there, thanks!**

**My mother tongue is not English, so therefore my grammar is not perfect and my vocabulary and spelling are a bit bad. I've tried to fix most of it, but there are probably a few mistakes left so I'd really appreciate if you helped me fix the parts where I've messed up.**

**I hope you'll enjoy this, and thanks for reading and rewieving! **

She had been beautiful that night. His gaze had lingered on her over and over again. At first he hadn't realized what he was doing, but when he did he still found it hard to look away. He'd had to force himself to turn his head around to meet Mai's dark eyes. And calmed by her smile he had ended the evening with a speech about flowering peace and successful reconstruction. The world had had peace for over three years, but it hadn't been until now that it had felt stable enough for him to declare it. That was the purpose of the ball.

When he'd swept the crowd with his gaze after the speech, his gaze had lingered just a few seconds longer on her, and this time she'd met it. When she smiled at him, that trusting smile he still hadn't get used to, something powerful and burning had awaken inside of him. Like a dragon, trapped inside his body, so strong it had left him trembling.

When he'd led Mai away, all he had done was to wish she wouldn't feel his hands shaking.

With a sigh, Zuko covered his face with his hands, but straightened again as he felt the scar that covered his left side. The scar that forever marked him as a traitor and a coward, that for the rest of his life would remind him of the years spent in exile, blinded by hatred and shame. She'd tried to heal it, in the crystal cave beneath Ba Sing Se, but they had been interrupted and he didn't dare to ask her again.

Her face, they way it had looked during the ball, pushed aside the rest of his thoughts for a minute. He could see every detail in as clear as if she was standing in front of him in the room. The perfect olive-colored skin, the beautiful shaped mouth, and the eyes. The big, ocean blue eyes, sparkling with joy.

Finally realizing what he was doing, Zuko snapped away from the image as he'd been burned. What was he thinking? She was with the Avatar, they could never… And then he remembered Mai and his face started to burn with shame. He couldn't do that again, break her heart. He cared too much about her. But a small voice in the back of his head cut of his thoughts. _I care about her, yes. But do I love her?_

Closing his eyes, he let himself fall back on the bed, just to jump up again when he heard a light knock on the door. He rose, hiding behind the mask of the Fire Lord, and said:

"Yes, you may enter."

The mask fell when he saw who it was.

"Katara, what…?"

She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. He couldn't help but notice the more informal dress she'd changed into, the light blue fabric draped around her like the water she so masterly bended, making her smooth skin look like silk.

"I didn't have a chance to talk to you during the ball.", she said. "To congratulate you… and to tell you that I'm leaving."

"You're leaving?" His throat tightened as she nodded. "Why? Where?"

"I'm going to the South Pole. I'm going home."

"But…"

"I haven't been home in over a year. And I don't think I can manage to stay here anymore, I…" She silenced as she met his eyes, and for a moment the powerful dragon inside him took control and made him drown in those deep blue oceans.

It was she who looked away first.

"I've made a mistake, Zuko."

The way his name sounded in her mouth made a tingling feeling search its way up his spine, but he also noticed the pain in her voice. Without thinking he took a step towards her, but Katara backed away. His half-raised arms fell back to his sides, and when she once again met his gaze, her eyes were filled with tears.

"Katara…" Her name made de dragon roar, and even though he tried to ignore it, a hot feeling spread through his body, making his skin burn.

Zuko could never have expected what was coming when she finally opened her mouth again.

"I can't stay here. I can't. I've tried to push it away, tried to change the way I feel, but I can't. And every time I see you, every time I hear your name, it gets harder and harder to ignore. It's painful, to always have your chest aching. And it's tiring. I can't bear it any longer. And that's why I have to leave."

Zuko stood frozen, thoughts whirling like a storm inside his head.

"What…"

"You don't have to say anything.", she cut of, biting her lip before she continued. "I'm sorry I came, I thought I was strong enough to do this. I never meant to say those things to you. I'm sorry, Zuko."

She turned around, but before she could reach for the door handle, Zuko grabbed her wrist. She lowered her head for a second, shaking of withheld feelings, before she turned again. Her face was just inches away, and with a light strike with his thumb, Zuko whipped away the glistering tear that ran down her chin.

"I've made a mistake.", she repeated. "I've made a mistake and I don't know how to change it without hurting someone I love."

"I love you Katara." The words were out before he could stop himself, but when they were, he realized they were the most truthfully he'd ever spoken. Slowly he took her face in his hands, so big and pale against her skin, and leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her warm lips. For a moment he could feel her letting in, but a second later she pushed him away.

"No.", she said, her voice thick with tears and pain. "No, I can't do this."

"I love you Katara, I love you."

"Don't say that. Please, don't…"

This time his kiss was harder, filled with passion and hidden desire. It took her longer to break free, and when she did she was panting for air, her chest rising and falling like she'd run a mile. Avoiding his eyes she struggled to get free from his grip, but he wouldn't let go. Not now, not ever.

"I can't, Zuko.", her voice thin with falling resistance. "I can't do this to him."

With the power of the dragon inside him, he pushed her backwards and nailed her to the door. He let all of his love, passion and fierce desire flow through the kiss, tracing her cheekbone and down her neck with his lips, hearing her moan as the last of her doubts disappeared. Fingers in his dark hair, she forced his mouth to meet hers again, and bit with a groan his lip when he ran his hands down her body, grabbing her thighs and lifting her so she wrapped her long legs around him.

"Zuko…", she whispered. "I love you Zuko."

He pushed her harder against the door, pinned her to it so she couldn't move. Searching her sweet tasting mouth with his tongue and feeling her fast heartbeat against his chest. He was on fire, burning with a desire so strong that his body was pounding with it. With a steadier grip around her waist, he carried her to the bed and lay her down, placing kiss after burning kiss wherever his mouth could reach her.

With trembling hands she made him meet her eyes, dim with lust.

"I want you Zuko. I need you."

"And I'm yours.", he answered. "Fully."

A tear glistened, left her eye, and disappeared into her hair. He leaned forward, placing a kiss on her eyelids, and then slowly began to take her dress of. Her skin was flawless beneath his fingers, feeling it as he traced the curves with both tongue and hands. Down her neck, her chest, her breasts and her stomach. The further down, the faster her breathing became, and as he reached underwear she groaned, her hands joining his as he pulled them off. Not able to stand it anymore she sat up, legs tied around his body, and tore of his shirt, letting her hand slip down his muscular chest and stomach, tied up his pants and dragged them off. He couldn't help but groan as her fingers ran along his hardened limb, teasing him with gentle touches as she licked her way down. When she finally took it in her mouth he roared like the dragon trapped inside him, feeling her body, and moments later exploded. He could feel her hands on his thighs, his waist, his trembling stomach, his chest, and then her lips found his again.

He could feel the salty taste of himself in her mouth as he pushed her backwards, slipped his hands down her body, feeling the wet of her abdomen, and entered her with his fingers. She screamed, pushing harder against him, back and forth, groaning with pleasure.

"I need you, now!", she panted, and he wasn't late to obey. As he sunk into her, both of them moaned, and for a moment he stopped to catch his breath.

"Zuko…", she begged, and he continued, faster and harder with each push until they both were screaming. Their bodies were covered in sweat, intertwined, and moving in a rhythm controlled by their desire. And with a scream she exploded, followed by him in only a few moments, and he collapsed on top of her, still inside her body.

Panting, with lungs screaming for air and bodies pounding with their lust, they lay still for several minutes, no one able to say or do anything.

Then suddenly Katara started to cry, and worried by her silent tears, Zuko parted from her and took her in his arms, comforting her with his bare presence.

"I love you.", she whispered through her sobbing. "I love you so much Zuko."

A warm feeling spread through his chest, so different from his burning desire, but yet the same.

"I love you too Katara. Always has and always will. I'm yours."

She hiccupped, buried her face in his naked chest and gave in to the tears.

"I'm leaving tomorrow."

"No, you don't have to…"

"Yes, Zuko, I do. We both know that."

A hole opened in his chest, swallowing every warm feeling with its cold darkness.

"I love you Katara.", he repeated, desperately grabbing hold of her.

"I know, I love you too. And that's the problem. I can't stay here, seeing you every day and not be able to be with you."

"Then be with me.", he begged. "I don't care if the whole world finds out how much I love you. I don't."

"But I do." He stiffened as the words painfully burned hole after hole in his heart.

"No, Zuko…" She lifted a hand to stroke away a strand of hair from his face, gently touching the scar around his left eye. "I didn't mean it like that." She placed a soft kiss on his tightened lips. "I would gladly be with you, every moment for the rest of my life, and beyond that. But I can't."

"Why not?" He met her eyes, filled with pain, just like he knew his was, and asked again. "Why not, Katara?"

"I can't do that… to Aang." He closed his eyes, feeling the dark hole in his chest widen.

"You love him."

"Yes."

The answer was expected, but never the less painful. He felt sick, betrayed, fooled and stupid. How could he ever have thought…?

"Zuko, are you listening to me?" Katara's voice brought him back to reality.

"I love him, but not in the way he wants me to love him. That love, and love even bigger than that, is what I feel when I'm with you." He pressed his temple against hers, wanting that moment to go on forever. "But I made a mistake. I thought I did, I thought I loved him in that way. But I don't, and now it's too late. I can't leave him, it'll crush him. And he's the Avatar, we need him."

Now he could feel the tears in his own eyes, stinging behind his closed eyelids. He'd thought the end of the war was the end of his suffering, but even now, when the world finally had found the balance again and the Fire Nation was his, he couldn't get the one thing he truly desired. The one that would make him happy. Katara.

"I have to leave.", she whispered, and he could see his own ravaged face reflect in her eyes. "I love you."

And with those words she stood up, draped the dress around her naked body, walked out the door and disappeared. Leaving a broken man behind.


End file.
